Friday, August 13, 2010

Must Viewing To Understand Male-Female Relations (Rating: Family)

The following video is, in my opinion, an expression of universal patterns of male and female behaviour--broadly speaking, that is, not necessarily for specific individuals and on every parameter, but for the genders as a whole. Even where there is role reversal in an individual interaction between men and women or between individuals with different perceptual, cognitive, linguistic, or social styles, it can be helpful to understand these as stylistic differences, rather than deliberate attempts to be obtuse, annoying, rude, etc. It can also help cross-culturally to the extent that some cultures seem to operate in one modality, whereas others operate in a different one, and no offense, annoyance or more sinister goal is intended.

The paradigms underpinning some of these vignettes (language, communication, processing functions) have been shown in some instances to be a result of gender differences in brain structure as much or more than culture and socialization. In other words, "they" can't help it. One can learn to modify behaviours and responses, but there is a natural tendency--that will be stronger under stress--to behave according to the "hard wiring". When people are in a stressful situation, and in full opposite wiring mode, there can be undue friction. So watch the video, relax, enjoy, have a laugh--and memorize!

Veuillez installer Flash Player pour lire la vidéo
If you have trouble viewing the video, it is linked here. Or search the title "FEMMINILE E MASCHILE" and look for the one with the purple maze. Or, well, you know what to do. [*see video below]

I can tell he is a boy video because he wants to line up on the left all regular-like, and not move to the centre where I want him to go. He doesn't say anything. He just stays there, or only puts the top part of himself in the centre, and leaves the bottom part of himself on the left. He wants to mess with my aesthetics. He knows I can't tolerate him being off kilter, so I will move the top part back to match the aesthetics of the bottom. He has a jumbled HTML that punishes me by not saving if I try to "persuade" him to go to the centre. Oh, no abuse or anything, just a little "my way or the highway" with a touch of silent treatment.

I am not amused, but I am trying to show girlie compassion for his recalcitrance--because I am X chromosome that way, especially now that we are in a standoff and stressed! Notice how I elaborated and shared? Yeah, X chromosomes alright--2 of them! No I am not !!!exclaiming!!! too much. Now, I'm going to call a girl friend, so she and I can discuss this properly. He'll never be the wiser. No point. He is hard-wired that way, and I like him too much to just poof him.

Oh no!!! He got really angry and poofed me right out of Blogger!!! :(
Ah, wasn't that sweet, he made me a whole new Blogger platform when he finally let me back in to see the surprise! :)
And he remembered I have been wanting more functions for commenting moderation and its own separate tab! :) Y-chromosome! :D

Oh, and today, a new gift, the video accessible to all, and willing to move to the centre, with a note about himself. Aahhhh...<3 <3 <3

Female and Male (2004) by award-winning Italian animator Bruno Bozzetto,
whose official website is here, and many of whose other interesting videos are on Youtube, here.

Stereotipi/ Stereotypes?
How true are the scenarios in your experience?
For how many scenarios do you conform to the gender-appropriate pattern?
Which ones and how? Or not?
Any anecdotes, examples to share? (<--very girl question :P )
Tell us what's what! (<--very boy non-question :P )
Any other comments, thoughts, impressions, experiences?


Medina said...

LOL chiara, this is very good method of understanding people behaviours based on gender, their moods, attitudes, motives and intentions. It is really amazing how people differ in their responses to environment stimuli, and how they think differently to achieve their goals and by what means, it can tell about people morality and values and the social pressure in terms of the perceived consequences that they might think of before doing any action. The most amazing thing is that men and women are to some extent differ in how they approach things and how this influence their relationships. So chromosomes are doing a good job hehe.

Wendy said...

Stereotipi/ Stereotypes?
Sure it's stereotyping and not all males/females fit into the stereotypical box but in general the traits are accurate. I've read a very interesting book called 'Sex on the Brain' which was not about sex but about how male and female brains differ. We do not think the same although we can have traits of both genders.
How true are the scenarios in your experience?
I know some men who absolutely fit the 'box' as well as women who fit the 'circle'. My best friend is gay and I think one of the reasons I get along with him so well is that he has a feminine side but can also explain the male point of view to me. :)
For how many scenarios do you conform to the gender-appropriate pattern? I'm pretty liberated so I don't fall into the trap of being the chief cook, cleaner, dishwasher, laundry doer and outside the house worker. I'm not a big time shopper either. I'm not sure who takes more stuff on a trip - my husband or myself. I also live with a 'romantic'.

I think that it's good we are not created the same. Makes life interesting!

Souma said...

so true... i wish i could stop talking and stick to the subject for once... *sigh*

Susanne said...

This post was too cute even the questions: tell and share...hahahaha.

I remember when I was talking to my Syrian friend, Louai, and kept using the word "share" as in "I like when you share things with me so I can learn from you." He marveled "out loud" at my use of "share." :-D Never realized that was one of my female traits coming out. LOL!

The video was cute...I laughed at the seduction segment especially when the guy's version is over in 2 seconds with a POUNCE!

I didn't realize the mass female convention (going to the bathroom at the same time) was somewhat universal. Actually I wonder if it is or maybe it's just more Western. It IS something we joke about from time to time. :)

Speaking of cultural things, I read this the other day about the Etiquette guide released ahead of the 2012 Olympics:

Hope that works and it's not really related to male/female stuff so sorry about that.

Anonymous said...


Definitely stereotyping, but as with all stereotypes, they have their origins in reality.

I agree with Susanne about the bathroom example - it could be just a western thing.

And Susanne beat me to the link about the 'Etiquette Guide'. I'm not sure what to think of it besides being bemused by it. It was produced by a quasi-government agency (quango), which decided the best way to justify its existence was to produce such a booklet.

Londoners aren't very friendly so they'll probably disregard much of the advice.

Susanne said...

Shafiq, I'm glad you saw the etiquette guide too. I put it on Facebook and asked for any other cultural no-noes people could think of. I included that you should never call someone from the southern US, a Yankee. :-D

I tend to enjoy reading stuff like that as i find cultural things interesting. :)

NidalM said...

To me, the communal bathroom thing is perhaps the most bizarre. The answers I normally get from girls when I ask why is "We gossip" (the meaner ones adding "about you" ;P).

To guys, even this answer is pretty bizarre since most of us have a strict 'no eye contact' policy in the bathroom. A glance and a quick nod is the extent of things.

oby said...

Hey I am back happy to comment on my own computer.

This was too too funny and very true. I have always wondered how in the world men and women actually manage to get married and STAY that way considering all the differences. Who hasn't wondered after an argument that you found so exasperating and undecipherable "What was I thinking when I married him/her?" Really, it feels like we are standing on two different planets sometimes.

NidalM comment is SO FUNNY! My dad and I were talking about this phenomena the other day and he said exactly what NidalM is saying...NO ONE looks left or right and definitely not in the eyes. Men intently ponder the porcelain in front of them or stare at the ceiling!!

As for being husband got a new Iphone while we were away and when we got back yesterday my daughter was putting some message on his "bulletin board" for him...being a girl, it was long and wordy...He said "what are you writing? I'll never read all of that. Guys just write a couple of sentences at most." I can vouch for that...this is a man who would rather not say too many words in a row because it is a strain! LOL! Just kidding...but only a little!)

Susanne said...

Nidal, have you asked women in various cultures about this gossip-in-the-bathroom habit? Curious if this was more prevalent in the US or in KSA or other places you've lived or visited.

It's funny that guys have a no-eye-contact policy. :)

Glad you shared that.

Oby, glad you are back!

Anonymous said...

I've never come across the no eye-contact policy. I don't stop to have a chat in the bathroom (that's just weird) but I might say hi if its a person I know, or smile & greet if its someone I don't.


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